Shadow
by kolachess
Summary: Feudal Japan AU. TezuxFuji. Slight ShiraixFuji. Because he was the Emperor's kagemusha, the Emperor's shadow, the Emperor's sacrifice. Because Tezuka was his samurai, his light, his protector. And because they loved.
1. Part I: Dawn

Title: Shadow

Chapter 1/5

Summary: Feudal AU. TezuxFuji. Slight ShiraixFuji. Because he was the Emperor's kagemusha, the Emperor's shadow. And Tezuka was his protector.

Disclaimer: This is fanfiction.

A/N: The term kagemusha means "Shadow Warrior" and actually comes from a film title. Truthfully, I don't know if such things existed in the feudal era (they probably did, I just didn't dig around a lot). In any case, my version is based more off of the manga, Soshite Haru no Tsuki, in which one of the very minor characters is a kagemusha. As to what it is if you don't know...you'll find out. :3

Setting: Feudal Japan ~ late 16th century. For the purposes of this story, I have twisted history a bit. To see what accounts were false, read footnotes.

Part 1: Dusk

~Third Year of Keichou (c.1599)~

A movement. A sound.

But not from him.

Nearby, a small sparrow fluttered restlessly onto a branch, chirping to its absent companions. It had flown ahead of its friends, eager to explore the crisp morning air. Only as it landed on a delicate branch and turned around did it realize it was alone. It twitched around, hopping from branch to branch, jostling the leaves as it did.

"Patience, little one...good things come to those who wait." The youth murmured with an amused curve of his lips. Giving the small creature one last furtive glance, he turned his attention back to the instrument in front of him, a koto.

Gracefully, he used his left hand to pull back the sleeve of his yukata. His right hand hovered hesitantly above the sharp chords. He froze, his body seemingly lingering on the edge of a cliff. Then, without precedence of movement, he plucked the first chord.

The room resonated on that single note, a confident yet humble tone, rich yet simple.

A second note was plucked.

A third...

A fourth...

...until the beautiful tune of Spring filled the room and soared into the gardens. It wasn't long until his melody was joined by the tune of nature. Birds were creatures of music; their calls were vibrantly lulling. He smiled as he saw two more sparrows fly down to join their wayward companion. He closed his eyes and let the music take hold of him. His breath stilled, his mind clear, the melody overpowering his being, enveloping him in a trance-

snap!

He hissed as the string whipped his smooth skin, leaving a thin red cut across the back of his hand. His eyes flew open, revealing deep cerulean orbs, and he stared at the silenced koto. The trio of sparrows, disappointed that the music had stopped, grudgingly left in search of something new and fluttered out of the garden. The tree gave one last shake before stilling once more.

He would sit there, kneeling by the koto for a few minutes, before-

"Fuji-sama?"

Fuji, as he was called, looked up from his koto.

Seeing who it was, he smiled. "Ah...Taka-san."

Kawamura Takashi grinned sheepishly as he asked for permission to enter. He was a well-built young man just two years Fuji's junior, with a heart that did not reflect his outward bulkiness. The younger man was a benevolent soul who had served Fuji for a little over two months and was already his friend and confidant.

As Fuji gently rotated himself to face the newcomer, the latter's eyes widened and he cried out, "Fuji-sama! Your hand!"

Fuji curiously peered down at his hand to see what had gotten his servant so riled. He was surprised to find the cut from the koto actually bleeding. "Oh..." He blinked. The sight of his own blood seemed to fascinate him, enrapture him.

"Um...shall I get you something for that?" Kawamura asked nervously.

Fuji looked back up at the speaker, shook his head and smiled. "I'll be fine," he took out a handkerchief from the sleeve of his yukata and gently dabbed away the blood. Replacing the cloth in his sleeve, he continued, "Is there something you need?" He casually digressed.

Kawamura stared at him strangely before snapping to attention. "Oh yes! Um...Tezuka-dono arrived in the court earlier and asked for you to join him for tea."

"Tezuka-san? Alright. Tell him I will be there shortly."

"Of course!" Kawamura got up to leave, only to stop and hurriedly ask, "Ah! He was in the...um..."

The koto-player smiled as he put a hand up to save the other some breath. "Don't worry. I know where."

Duty fulfilled, Kawamura nodded briskly, bowed, and left.

Fuji closed his eyes and released a breath he had been unknowingly holding back. He tried to calm the frantic beats of his heart. Tezuka was back. Oh gods how he had missed him. A sudden breeze floated into the room, playing with his silky brown hair and making a tingling sound with the wind chimes, as if announcing his arrival.

The honey-blonde could feel his entire being swelling up with an overwhelming sense of longing. He calmed himself once more before putting away his koto, eager to meet the samurai.

* * *

The Imperial Eastern Gardens were a sight to behold; the caretaker had taken great pains and meticulousness to ensure that any visitor to the palace would be struck speechless with awe. There was an assorted array of colors: greens, violets, magenta, reds, blues, oranges, all brilliantly arranged in a beautiful and complex pattern for the viewers' enjoyments. It contained the delicacy and strength that was the Imperial court, so that any lord or lady would immediately feel the power of the emperor.

Even thus, the gardens held none of the interest of one particular man.

Tezuka Kunimitsu, a samurai who had sworn allegiance to the current Emperor, was standing by a wooden post in the far corner of the garden, paying no attention to the colorful display in front of him. His stern gaze swept the garden inconspicuously from time to time, his features otherwise never budging an inch.

It is only after a good quarter of an hour that the person he is waiting for shows up.

Seeing the familiar mop of honey-blonde, Tezuka couldn't help but relax. He still didn't smile – he rarely did – but his lips parted just slightly, as if to allow a small intake of breath in awe of the other's beauty.

He could see the other pause slightly upon recognizing him standing in a dark corner, see his lips pulling into a sweet smile. Fuji continued to walk at the same pace towards Tezuka, until he stopped right in front of him.

"Tezuka-san."

A curt nod.

"Fuji-sama."

A respectful bow.

And then they simply stood, each taking in the others' appearance, memorizing every detail of change that had happened over the month they had been apart.

"Shall we?" The smaller man then offered.

"Ah..." Tezuka acquiesced and followed the former on a stroll around the gardens.

For a while they walked in comfortable silence. The garden was rather empty during this time of day, when everyone was busy with affairs of the state.

"You were gone for very long." The other had stopped to admire a hydrangea of vivid blue, delicate finger tracing a soft petal. If Tezuka were an poet, he would somehow compare the flower to the intense cerulean of Fuji's eyes. Or perhaps it was a contrast? However he had been gifted not with the pen, but the sword. The quiet question lingered unanswered for a moment.

'He was worried...' The dark brunette discerned. Fuji was always good at dancing around with words. He never asked anything directly, yet somehow Tezuka – the man who never uttered more than two syllables in a conversation – could always understand.

"The mission became complicated." His deep, rich voice supplied. Noticing the other freeze slightly at the statement, he quickly added, "Political affairs." 'No one was hurt'.

Fuji relaxed and smiled amiably up at him. "Saa...that's good to hear." 'You're not hurt'.

"Hn."

A chuckle. "I'm glad I have my big bad samurai back," he said almost jokingly and lightly. It was his eyes that betrayed his true feelings: relief, joy...and love. After a few moments of silence, Fuji suddenly straightened up and asked, "Saa...Tezuka. Let's have the tea you invited me out for, ne?"

The addressee was about to respond with a short 'hn' when he felt the honey-blonde's hand on his, tugging him along. And as quickly as he felt the contact, it left. His fingers still tingling from the touch, Tezuka simply let his arm fall to his side. And withholding the urge to see if his hand was shaking, he followed the other to tea.

* * *

Kawamura Takashi was a rather new servant in the Imperial Estates. His father was a poor fisherman with little money, and his mother had died when he was young – perhaps when he was two or three. His father had always been a hard worker, doing his best to raise his son and daughter – Mayuri, who had grown up to be a vibrant and cheerful young woman.

And Kawamura had never felt so happy, as on the day when he found out his sister would be marrying the boy she had loved for years. It was just about time really; she was already sixteen, an ideal age for marriage. And although Takashi himself was already eighteen, Mayuri was the one who needed to marry soon. Girls couldn't stay single for long, unlike the boys.

But while he had been utterly elated and ecstatic for his younger sister, his father was more down-to-earth. His father had of course, been happy for Mayuri and approved of the marriage with all his blessings, but only he saw the issue at hand – the dowry.

The boy whom she was to be marrying came from a better family. He wasn't of any noble lineage or anything, but the simple fact remained that he had been rich for a commoner. His parents weren't as eager as Mayuri's father had been, and so were only barely able to approve of the marriage – under the conditions that the Kawamuras would provide a substantial dowry.

In all honesty, the amount they requested was a very kind amount, a workable amount. But with Takashi's father falling ill recently and no one else to support the household, even this small amount was difficult to come by.

That's why Kawamura was so thankful he had gotten a position in the imperial court. To say the truth, he has no idea how it had happened, for someone of his status to be able to serve someone like Fuji. But he did, and he has to say that he is probably one of the luckiest men alive.

He hummed a jovial little tune as he gathered up some small savings to deliver to his sister. As a servant, he didn't exactly receive pay or anything of the sort. He had come to court on the rumors that nobles tended to pay servants 'extra' for certain 'services'. Kawamura had been uncertain what these services would be, no doubt illegal, but he had been willing to do so for the sake of his sister.

However, Lady Fate was kind enough to land him with a master like Fuji-sama.

And at the thought of his liege, his heart gave a small squeeze, causing him to stop midstride. Fuji no Syuusuke-sama was the most gentle and beautiful person he had ever come across. As soon as the other learnt of his predicament, the blue-eyed man gave him a small pouch of coins, telling him to take it. At first Kawamura was embarrassed, humiliated almost, even though he was a humble person. To take money so easily was never in his book of honor.

But the honey-blonde just smiled at him.

"Consider it a bribe for you to be nice to me, ne? And your first task...is to sneak in some sweets for me!"

Kawamura had sweat-dropped. Yet at the same time, he relaxed and laughed. From then on, Fuji always managed to come up with an excuse to slip him some money. It became a little game between them, something Kawamura greatly appreciated and thanked.

Fuji was always so considerate of others. Not only did he give him money, he also eased away the guilty feeling that rose within him whenever he accepted money from the former.

Fuji no Syuusuke...

...was a shadow.

At first, he didn't understand just who his master was. He had expected to serve some lord, some noble, some statesman or just be part of the staff. But when he was introduced to a small, sandy-haired man who smiled all the time, Kawamura was confused.

It took him weeks of digging around and hopping about the rumor mill to realize what his liege was.

A kagemusha.

The Fuji family was of noble lineage and distantly connected to the Emperor. But the reason why Fuji no Syuusuke lived so close to the Emperor whereas all his other family lived elsewhere was because he was the Emperor's body double.

It was a shock to think that Fuji would go about impersonating the Emperor from time to time. No doubt such a secret was well-kept, for even around the court rumor mill, there was little to nothing said about such a fact.

While he had gathered from here and there that Fuji-sama didn't live in the Imperial Court for the same reasons others nobles did, it was actually by chance he found out the other was a kagemusha.

_It was night, and he was heading over to Fuji-sama's room. He stopped a few feet short of the door when he saw two shadows through the door. He tiptoed close._

_"Alright, that's fine." Fuji._

_"Are you sure? Is it tight enough? We can't risk it falling off." A stranger._

_He could see his lord smile. "Ah...don't worry too much, ne? Mitsu..."_

_'Mitsu' scowled. "It is my job to worry."_

_The honey-blonde noble chuckled. "It's fine. I just have to parade around as Kuranosuke, right?"_

_Kuranosuke?_

_"Syuusuke! You really oughtn't address His Majesty like that." The stranger reprimanded the smaller man as though he were a child._

_Fuji laughed. "Maa...it's fine, isn't it? As long as no one finds out. Besides, if I don't loosen him up, Shiraishi-tennou would probably go insane on us, wouldn't he? With all the rigid and formal affairs. And no...that statement would not be treason, Tezuka-san. You really need to lighten up." He gently shushed the other as he was about to interrupt._

_Shiraishi-tennou? The Emperor?_

_Kawamura staggered a bit from where he was standing, a few footsteps down from the sliding door that led into Fuji's room. He panicked as he realized the voices had stopped and footsteps were now heading towards the door._

_Suddenly the fusuma slammed opened, and he met eye to eye with cold murky brown. Tezuka, the man who was now staring at him, said nothing, only glaring at him with the intensity of a killer._

_Kawamura couldn't move, couldn't speak._

_"Tezuka-san!" The annoyed voice of his lord sounded from behind the fusuma._

_Tezuka snapped his head around at the sound of his name. Fuji was frowning. "You really shouldn't scare my new servant like that. He's a really nice boy."_

_The 'really nice boy' gulped as the taller samurai seemed dissuaded by the statement. "You will not speak of this." And with that, he left._

_With Tezuka now gone, the figure behind the door stepped out into full view and Kawamura gasped. "Fuji-sama?" He was staring at the garb that enveloped his lord's body. It was the garb of the emperor. He had no idea how the emperor actually looked – rumors said he was astonishingly handsome – but even if he had, he was sure he would've been duped. Fuji smiled at him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. His eyes seemed to sparkle with a tint of sadness – just for a moment. "I was hoping you would find out some other way, you know?" His smile faded a bit. It looked as though he were about to say something else, but was held back._

_Then suddenly, Fuji's entire composure changed. He straightened his back and tilted his chin slightly, holding himself with an air of confidence. "Well then, Kawamura-kun. Oyasumi-nasai."_

_He then walked off to where the other man was waiting in the distance._

_Only a few moments later did the entire conversation register in his mind._

_Fuji Syuusuke was a kagemusha._

_...which really meant that he was a sacrifice._

He freaked out for a good while afterward, thinking the other meant to say goodbye, and that his final statement was a farewell of sorts.

It was a shock for him the next morning when he was awoken by his master, who looked rather amused to find him out cold in his room.

The older youth explained everything soon enough with a laugh here and there at Kawamura's expressions. His job was to basically trick any possible assassins, attend a few social events that required the Emperor's presence but wasted his time, and sometimes sit through a few boring state sessions – this last part was because the emperor sometimes played hooky, according to Fuji.

Since then, they haven't really discussed the subject of Fuji's occupation.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan!"

He looked up smiled. "Mayuri-chan!"

* * *

"I heard you spent the afternoon with Tezuka-dono."

"Hmm..."

A stroke.

"How is he?"

"Fine, I suppose."

Another stroke.

"Syuusuke..." He stared into the mirror, at the person kneeling behind him.

Clatter.

"Yes, Your Majesty?"

Fuji smiled playfully as he bent over to pick up the dropped comb. He then resumed his previous activity of brushing through fine tresses of golden-gray silk. He could see the emperor staring at him through his peripheral, but paid no heed to it.

"I love you."

The hand didn't stop, didn't falter. His shadow kept combing his hair, gently, routinely. He could feel Fuji's petal-like fingers dancing across his scalp with each stroke. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the experience.

"Syuusuke-" He then started, this time firm.

And was cut off as he felt the ghostly finger now on his lips. He opened his eyes, looked into the mirror, and saw Fuji smiling at him. "You love an imposter."

The emperor sighed. His confessions always ended in that statement. He was never reciprocated, no matter what he did to please the other. It was ironic, really. He was the emperor, commanded an entire army, yet he falls to his knees every time in the presence of one Fuji Syuusuke.

Tezuka was one lucky bastard. Shiraishi-tennou was no petty man and was not one to begrudge anyone for anything. Tezuka was one of his most loyal and faithful subordinates – honest, determined, strong – something difficult to find among the cunning aristocracies. But in the case of the young man from the Fuji household, the sovereign was stumped.

Of course, he wasn't about to do anything drastic like send the samurai off on a suicide campaign; that would be plain stupid because he would lose one of his better men. But oftentimes he wondered what Tezuka had that he lacked.

Deciding that mulling over the subject would be rather pointless, he brought up something new. "Shogi?" He offered as a truce of sorts. The hands stopped. Blue eyes stared into his, as if testing him for something. His companion smiled. "Sure."

Shiraishi nodded. "I'll get the board and pieces."

"Hmm..." The other hummed. The emperor smiled a little. He knew that Fuji loved puzzles, especially Japanese chess. Taking the shogi-ban and placing it carefully on the floor, he began setting up each piece. His guest joined him in the action.

When everything was in order, he turned to the other and asked, "Shall we begin?"

Fuji smiled. His only response was the pa-chi! of a piece hitting the board. "You're one step slow already, Kuranosuke."

Shiraishi laughed. Pa-chi!

Yes, this is how it would be...for now.

End Part 1: Dusk

A/N: Woop! First chapter done! What did you guys think? There are five parts total, so I'm pretty sure I can finish it. I'm not good with updating past the first five chapters...so this time I made it only five chapters!

This is definitely inspired greatly by the manga, Soshite Haru no Tsuki. Even though the part about the kagemusha was brief , it seemed like such a juicy plot I couldn't help be extract some of it.

Historical inaccuracies:

1) Well for one, the emperor of the Keichou era was not Shiraishi Kuranosuke. It was Go-Youzei-tennou.

2) I don't know how much about kagemushas a real, so...this is up for grabs

3) Glasses were not introduced to Japan back then. Although glasses were somewhat invented in the West.


	2. Part II: Morning

Title: Shadow

Chapter 2/5

Summary: Feudal AU. TezuxFuji. Slight ShiraixFuji. Because he was the Emperor's kagemusha, the Emperor's shadow, the Emperor's sacrifice. Because Tezuka was his samurai, his light, his protector. And because they loved.

Disclaimer: This is fanfiction.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read this! It means a lot to me that there are people who think this work is decent. . Here's part II!

Warning: Um...some nonsensical militaristic babble...

Part II: Morning

_~August, 1599, Kyoto~_

"Here. It would have to be at this pass, right here. Ishida has some fifty-thousand strong. Tokugawa, on the other hand, has at least a total of seventy-five thousand, if not more. No – definitely more. The timing is crucial." A hand hovered over the map, the finger settling on a gap between two mountains.

"From any militaristic standpoint, this battle is a complete defeat! It doesn't matter how many men we send to aid Ishida – Tokugawa has numbers that far surpass ours!" The floor shook as someone uncharacteristically slammed a hand down, trembling.

"Houjou-dono does bring up a valid point. Even if our secret alliance with Ishida remains undiscovered, and we do manage to send our men in, Tokugawa's army is much more solid than ours." Another voice joined the fray.

"Indeed, however the simple fact remains that we have no other alternative. If Tokugawa were to succeed, the government would be all but demolished. Even if Tokugawa does not execute all the court officials, we would be nothing more than empty puppets in the hands of a tyrant. Houjou-dono, I understand your anger-"

"You understand nothing." The man in question snarled. "I am the last daimyo that hasn't fallen under the influences of that...monster. No matter what Tokugawa Ieyasu does, I will not hand the Kanto region over! Even this city of Kyoto, your precious capital, is under his control! This...plan of yours is absurd!"

"Then what is it you propose?" A fourth voice.

"Let Ishida and Tokugawa battle it out. We will fight the remainder." He huffed indignantly.

"A cowardly choice. And no doubt a stupid one. Tokugawa will triumph, and with all his adversaries wiped out, he will turn his attention on Kanto and destroy your home. After the last region of the empire falls, he will turn his attention to Kyoto, and seize control of the government. Even now, the capital is under the watchful eye of his men."

"If our sovereign would travel to Kanto, to Edo, he would be safe and Tokugawa would-"

"Edo will fall sooner than Kyoto! Kyoto will remain-"

"Kyoto has already fallen! No official can even step outside the palace gates without-!"

"To make a journey from here to Edo is entirely-"

"_Enough."_ An exhausted yet firm voice commanded. The room suddenly quieted. A pregnant pause filled the room. Then, "Tezuka-dono," the speaker dully tilted his head towards the only silent figure in the corner. "what do you propose?"

Tezuka took a deep breath, raising his head slightly. "We stick to the original plan. We will assemble in Edo and join Ishida's forces. If we take victory, the court will remain in power, though Ishida gets his desired prime position. If Tokugawa takes victory..." He adjusted his glasses. Nothing more was said.

_'If Tokugawa were to emerge as the victor, Kyoto will burn.'_

"Thank you, Tezuka-dono. Well then, that will be all. Meeting adjourned."

"Your Majesty-"

"_Adjourned_." The emperor emphasized.

The lords reluctantly obeyed, getting up and scuffling out the door. After the majority were outside, Tezuka picked up his katana as well and stood to leave.

"Wait, Tezuka-dono."

The vassal stopped in his tracks, slowly turning to face the emperor.

Shiraishi-tennou sighed, before looking at the samurai. After waiting until the last of the footsteps disappeared down the hall, he continued. "Hojou-dono was, to some extent, correct. The emperor must leave Kyoto." He then stopped short, cutting himself off. The sovereign then locked eyes with the brunette. "But I must remain."

Tezuka paused, taking in the other's words. He frowned, then bowed. "I understand."

He turned to leave, until he felt an iron grip clamped on his arm.

Tezuka glanced down to see the other piercing him with a cold hard gaze. "Take care of him." The latter whispered in a low voice.

"I will." No hesitation, no quiver.

Satisfied, Shiraishi sighed and let go.

Taking this as his cue to leave, Tezuka bowed once more in respect and exited.

As the door slid shut, Shiraishi pondered the last exchange just few seconds prior.

_Love._

He laughed to himself. _'Even the infamous Tezuka Kunimitsu crumbles at the mention of Fuji Syuusuke...'_ His eyes softened. _'Those eyes are just like mine...'_ Because when he all but begged Tezuka to keep Fuji safe, he saw it, even if Tezuka himself did not: the fierce yet silent determination, a strong and impenetrable resolution, but at the same time, a vulnerability...the fear that he would one day fail.

* * *

"Onii-chan! Try some! I made it this morning." A young girl of sixteen exuberantly stuffed a plate of food into Kawamura's hands. Reluctant to try the steaming food on a day as hot as this, the older sibling picked up a gyoza. He bit into it slowly, careful not to let it burn his mouth.

His eyes widened in surprise at the vivid flavor filling up his mouth. "Mayuri-chan! This is really good!"

His sister beamed. "Isn't it?" She took the plate and set it down on a table. "I have to learn how to cook properly so I can make a good wife for Takeru-kun, don't I?" She said with a content smile.

Kawamura grinned, patting his sister's head. "I'm sure you'll do great. Which reminds me..." He trailed off as he pulled out something from behind his back and dropped it in Mayuri's hand. "For you."

Mayuri stared at the small pouch in her hands. It took her a moment to register what it was. "Onii-chan...this..." Tears stung her eyes.

Kawamura smiled. "A little bonus."

The next thing he knew, he was tackled to the floor in a monstrous hug. He could barely make out the muffled words of his sister buried in his shirt. "Arigatou, onii-chan! You're working so hard and...sniff..."

"Maa, maa...Mayuri-chan. You're making my shirt all wet!" He chuckled, rubbing his sister's back as she refused to relinquish her hold. "It's all because of Fuji-sama, though." He added as an afterthought.

At this, his sister stopped crying and pulled away abruptly, staring straight at him. "Fuji-sama? The one you're serving, right?" A nod. "He's really nice, isn't he..." She recomposed herself, sitting back on the floor with her feet tucked properly underneath her.

The older Kawamura nodded. "Fuji-sama is really kind. I would daresay he's paying for half your wedding almost!" He laughed, making it a joke.

Mayuri smiled. "Well, then. I suppose I just have to invite the kind and noble Fuji-sama to my wedding, don't you suppose? It's only right!"

Her brother just sheepishly grinned and scratched the back of his head. "Well...yes. But Fuji-sama is very busy, Mayuri, and people of the court don't just come and visit-"

_clap!_

Mayuri clapped her hands together. "Well, then! That's decided! Onii-chan! It's up to you to get Fuji-sama to my wedding ok?"

Kawamura blinked. "Eh? Mayuri-chan, that-"

Happy and satisfied with this, Mayuri stood up. "Well, I have lots of work to do. Don't forget to invite him!" And that was the last thing Kawamura heard before his sister disappeared out the door.

"Ehhh? Mayuri-chan!" He called out futilely after her. Sighing, he sat there for a few moments more, before standing up to find his father.

* * *

"_Hah!" His little arms swung the kendo stick down with solidity. He raised the kendo stick for another stroke. "Hah!" Step. Another swing. "Hah!" _

"_Kuu-chan?" _

"_Hah!" He dropped his stance and relaxed. Turning around to find the source of the voice, the eight-year old son of Lord Tezuka Kuniharu spoke, "Shuu?" He frowned as his training was interrupted, and found himself face to face with a smiling boy._

"_Shh! Ne, Kuu-chan? Come closer for a bit..." The blue-eyed boy grinned happily, hinting something secret. Tezuka let his eyes travel down to his friend's palms, which were heavily clenched around something. The taller boy reluctantly moved close, keeping a wary eye on the other's hands._

"_Hold out your hand." _

_Tezuka blinked. "What-?"_

_Fuji smiled knowingly. "It's fine! Just hold out your hand."_

_Tezuka did as he was told. He felt something drop in his hand. Curious, he waited as the other boy removed his hand. In his palms were now an array of colorful objects. He looked up at his friend to see him pop one of them into his mouth. _

"_It's candy, Kuu-chan." Syuusuke stated, as if the other didn't know._

_When the other showed no response, the honey-blonde took one of the pieces in Tezuka's hands, unwrapped it, "Say 'ahh', Kuu-chan!" He chirped while acting out the 'ahh'._

"_Eh?" Was Tezuka's only response. And before he could say anything else, a sharp and explosive sensation of strawberry filled his tastes. It was sweet and carried a tinge of sourness, to which Tezuka grimaced a bit. Still...he liked it._

_He could hear Fuji snickering. "Your face is funny!"_

_He frowned as the other teased him relentlessly. "No it's not, Shuu!" He moved to stop the other from snickering. Placing the rest of the candy in his sleeves, he now used both hands to grab the other boy._

_Gradually, the stifled giggling subsided. "Did you like it?" Fuji asked gently._

_Tezuka blinked. Did he like it? The sweet yet somewhat sourly taste? "Yeah..."_

_Fuji beamed. "Good! Because I have lots more!" _

_...and to his horror, out of nowhere, Fuji produced a whole bag of strawberry candy._

"Tezuka-saan!~" Someone sung. He looked up from his position of sitting on the porch to find his childhood friend walking towards him, a fan elegantly rustling the silky brown hair. "What are you thinking about?" Fuji inquired cheerfully as he snapped his fan shut and sat down next to Tezuka, dangling his feet over the edge of the walkway.

"Hn." Tezuka offered. He diverted his mind to the scenery before him, to the koi in the pond, the luscious vivid green, the calming wind...

"Here you go." A hand intruded his personal bubble, holding something out under his chin. He took the small offering, observing it. "Ah...arigatou..."

Fuji smiled. "Strawberry candy. If I remember correctly, it was your favorite."

Tezuka gave a small nod. "Ah..."

The kagemusha seemed content on staring at Tezuka, waiting for the other to pop the treat into his mouth. Of course, Tezuka being Tezuka, was not about to perform such a childish act. Giggling, Fuji grabbed the sweet from the former's hands and unwrapped it himself.

"You eat it Tezuka-san. In case you've forgotten. Here. Say 'ahh!'!"

Taken aback, Tezuka shot out his hand to prevent the other from bombarding him. "Fu-!"

...and once more, the sensation of sweetness flooded his senses. Only this time, there was a faint trace of pinewood acquainted with it. His tongue felt something soft. He looked up at Fuji to see the other had frozen, sapphire eyes wide open with surprise. He was then surprised to find his right hand grasping Fuji's wrist, with the other's finger in his mouth. _Pinewood__. 'So that's where it's coming from...'_

And being entirely uncharacteristic, Tezuka let the faint trace of pinewood linger in his mouth, and only very gradually did he release it. Carefully, he pulled the sandy-haired youth's hand down, his hazel eyes never leaving vivid blue.

Fuji's shock had worn off by now, and the man was now smiling. Without a word, he slowly replaced his finger with his lips, soft gentle petals gracing coarse dry lips. Fuji moved closer, turning both their bodies and cupped the samurai's cheeks. Tezuka conceded, letting his composure drop and allowing Fuji to kiss him gently, hungrily, passionately.

Fuji continued his ministrations with a sense of art. Their kiss was like a dance, as Fuji's tongue moved elegantly around his. A one-sided dance, it seemed, as Fuji desperately explored his mouth.

Then, as if a sudden desire inflamed his body, Tezuka seized control. His eyes snapped open, and he nipped at Fuji's bottom lip, eliciting an enticing gasp from the smaller man. He could feel Fuji's arms around him, hanging on, the other's cold fingers leaving a tingling sensation on the nape of his neck. His lips soon moved away and onto something more daring, more forbidden. He began planting gentle butterfly kisses along the kagemusha's neck and collarbone, receiving great pleasure in the small moans that emitted from the other.

Gasp. "Mitsu!" A fierce and passionate, whispering cry. Eyes snapped open, revealing alluring orbs of deep blue. More kisses, more fervor, more intensity. Another gasp of exhiliration. "Kuu-chan!"

And Tezuka stopped.

As if suddenly awoken from a nightmare, the samurai shot away and turned aside. Panting heavily, Tezuka attempted to collect himself. Beside him, a confused Fuji was awakening from the haze. Blue orbs searched questioningly in dark hazel ones. Yet the vassal remained keen on ignoring the other man.

"Mitsu..."

With no response, Fuji sighed and backed away, facing the garden once more. He straightened out his yukata, pulling up the collar. He knew Tezuka had something on his mind, and was waiting for the latter to clear things out. He would be patient.

"We're leaving for Edo tonight." Deep baritone cut through the silence.

Fuji blinked, surprised at the quickness. "Ah...I see."

"..."

"Well, then. I suppose I should get packing, ne?" Fuji smiled gently. Without giving Tezuka a chance to respond, the honey-blonde stood up to walk away. And out of the blue, the older youth's hand reached out and grabbed the other's wrist, causing him to stop and turn in mild surprise.

Fuji glanced at Tezuka to find the latter staring at his hand. Following his path of vision to the thin line of red running across the back of his hand, he gently removed his hand from Tezuka's hold. "It's just a cut, Tezuka-san." He smiled, appreciating the other's small gesture of concern.

Tezuka nodded slowly, his mind seemingly focusing elsewhere. "Ah..."

Fuji lingered for a moment longer, then turned to leave.

"Ah, Fuji-"

Fuji halted in his steps, and patiently turned around.

"...yudan sezu ni ikou..." The young vassal murmured softly.

His charge smiled at him, _'Hai, hai...Tezuka-san...'_, and left.

Tezuka was left alone to his thoughts once more. Running a hand through his chestnut hair, he recalled a distant memory, brought to lucid surface just few moments prior.

"_Kuu-chan? Practicing again?" The smiling boy walked up to him._

_Tezuka spared him a quick glance before refocusing on striking the dummy. "I have to. Otherwise I can't protect you." __Smack._

_The younger boy froze. His eyes opened. "Protect me?"_

_Tezuka stopped. He rotated to meet Fuji's eyes. Then, mustering all his fervor and determination, he declared, "It is my duty to protect Fuji-sama! The emperor said so." Fuji stared at him for a few seconds more before bursting out into laughter._

"_You're so old-fashioned, Kuu-chan!"_

_Tezuka blushed, feeling the rush of blood into his cheeks. He meant it! Fuji was his friend, and since the emperor had ordered Tezuka to be Fuji's protector...he would be more than glad to do so! "Shuu! Stop laughing! You're always laughing at me!" _

_At this, the laughing immediately ceased. _

"_Arigatou na."_

_And Tezuka found himself unable to move at the sight of the sincere smile on Fuji's face._

_x  
_

_A week later, an urgent messenger came pummeling through the palace gates. "The young lord has fallen from a horse and broken his leg!"_

_Tezuka wasn't sure what happened next. At that time, they were still living in a palace detached from from the main Imperial court. While he and Fuji were told they were to serve the future emperor, they had never actually done anything up until now. He never even saw the young lord before._

_Tezuka wasn't sure what happened next, but..._

_...he would never forget the fear and pain that resided in his Fuji's eyes._

_Because there had been an assassination attempt on the young lord's life._

_Because there would be another attempt._

_Because the young lord had broken his right leg..._

_...Shuu would have to suffer the same fate._

"_Kuu-chan..." Fuji's voice trembled as the adults dragged him away. "Kuu-chan...!" His cries soon became lost in the sea of voices surrounding him. He could continuously hear his name being cried until they disappeared inside the compound. Tezuka tried to move, tried to follow, but he was vaguely aware of his mother ushering him away. It was only after a minute or so that Tezuka was finally jostled from his trance._

_Pushing his mother away, he ran towards where he last saw the men turning. He ran down corridors, around corners, past posts, past people, towards the voices._

_Panting as he finally stopped outside of the room where the voices were coming from, he peered through the slit of the slightly open door. _

"_Kuu-chan..." He saw his friend whimpering on the floor, with someone holding him. He wanted to respond, wanted to say something...and at that moment their eyes locked. _

_Then he heard the most heart-wrenching scream._

_There was a horrifying crack as someone broke Fuji's fragile bones, just where the young lord received his injuries. Fuji screamed once, then clamped his mouth shut, biting his lip and bravely trying to endure it, refusing to emit another sound. He was breathing heavily, sweating profusely..._

_...and this whole time he did not break eye contact with Tezuka._

"_Kuu-chan..." He whispered softly, smiling, before going limp._

_Kuu-chan..._

And just a few moments ago, in the heat of passion, he heard it again in Fuji's voice. The blissful, agonizing pain. The tortured yet ecstatic tone.

Fuji was hurting inside again.

He bravely put up a front and smile, but Tezuka knew.

The way he had called his name, desperate yet hopeful and trusting, showed it. He had hoped Tezuka would take him away from reality, elope with him from the mundane, and let everything else fall away.

Yet that's why Tezuka couldn't continue. Not when reality was so harshly close on them.

He thought back to his earlier conversation with the emperor.

"_The emperor must leave Kyoto...but I must remain." _

Fuji would have to travel to Edo in the emperor's place, distracting Tokugawa in any way possible. While their previous missions and tasks were rather simple and relatively safe, a long journey to Kyoto was not. Especially on the eve of war.

And not for the first time in his life, Tezuka wished his friend never had to pick up the burden of a kagemusha.

_End Part II: Morning_

A/N: Aw...childhood TezuFuji! 'Kuu-chan' actually came from Sukisho. I think it is the most adorable nickname ever. The way Sunao called Sora that was absolutely adorable, so I can imagine Fuji doing the same!

Um...I've never written military babble before, so...the first part probably doesn't make a lot of sense? Ah...let's just pretend they're all smart people? Lol.

And the whole breaking leg part. It was kind of sort of in the manga I'm basing this off of? In the manga, someone came in announcing the young lord had fallen off his horse and broken his leg, but instead of assuming that the kagemusha would be required to go do something in his place, for some reason my mind told me that he had to break his leg as well...

...ah I'm not sure which interpretation is correct. Probably the former actually. In any case...poor Fuji...

Historical Inaccuracies:

1) Hojou's region of Kanto fell in 1590, rather than ten years later :)

2) There was no secret alliance between Ishida and the government (Or none that would be recorded)

3) I'm not sure peasants really had weddings at all...probably a small celebration is all.

Well then, thanks for reading! Till the next installment...


	3. Part III: Noon

The entire carriage ride was bumpy and uncomfortable. They've been on the road for six days now, and could never go a few meters without a good shake jostling the compartment and tossing its occupant. Yet for the moment, Fuji remained unaware of all this. He had been discreetly peeking through the small window of the vehicle as they passed through a small village, smiling to himself as children ran away screaming in delighted fright at the horse-drawn 'house'.

Deep azure eyes sparkled with lazy mirth as he watched one little girl smack her brother's head unhappily for pulling on her pigtails. He chuckled airily to himself. Retreating from the window, he relaxed against the bumpy backside of the carriage. And soon, he found himself tossed between the memories of his childhood, ones of his own siblings.

_'Yumiko-aneue...Yuuta...'_

It had been so long since he last saw them. Deep down, he felt his stomach give a small lurch at the thought of his family. He missed them. He closed his eyes and reached into the inside of his kimono, pulling out a handkerchief. It was embroidered with fine designs and intricate patterns, woven together by meek threads of silk. Fuji carefully unfolded the cloth and gently touched the object sitting amidst the sleek sheet of silk. His thumb slowly traced over the ornamental plum blossom made of amethyst on the hairpiece his mother had passed on to him.

"_Because you are my light, my son, even if you are his shadow."_

His mother died a week later.

"Your Majesty, we'll be reaching our destination for lunch soon. It's a fine day." A familiar voice shook him out of his thoughts. He smiled faintly as his carriage driver's voice carried in from the front. Of course Tezuka would choose the right moment to speak...Whether the other intended to or not, Fuji silently thanked Tezuka for brightening his mood.

Taking one last glance at the artifact, Fuji gently covered it up and returned it to its rightful place by his heart.

A quarter of an hour or so later, Fuji felt the carriage pulling to a halt. He waited as the cover of the caravan was raised, and a servant helped him exit. Stepping off carefully, he took in his surroundings. Around them were woods of gold and crimson, all falling into the bright cerulean sky. He could hear the isolated chirping of some cicadas. Summer was fading away into fall, and the cool minty chill of the seasonal air was beginning to set in as a sudden breeze ruffled the hems of his sleeves slightly and played with his hair.

Turning his attention around to the people, Fuji noticed that quite a few had accompanied him on this journey.

"_Your Majesty_, would you care for some water?"

Recognizing the voice, Fuji spun around to find the young Kawamura holding out a water pitcher. "Taka-san." He whispered for the other to hear, smiling briefly and accepting the offer.

"Tennou-sama." This time, Fuji tilted his head to the left to find Tezuka nearing him.

"Tezuka-dono." Fuji forced himself to repress the tug at the corner of his lips. Here, he was the 'Emperor', and one wrong gesture could bode ill for both him and Tezuka. Keeping his posture tall and authoritative, Fuji allowed the other permission to speak.

"We will be nearing Edo in approximately three days. The journey has been relatively peaceful for the time being. However, please stay on guard." Although the samurai's composure was firm and dutiful, the kagemusha could see the barest spark of worry in his eyes.

"Thank you, Tezuka-dono. You may return to your post." Fuji spoke quietly, a hint of softness feathering his voice. He resisted the strong urge to stroke away the other's worry, struggled to keep himself in line. _'Mitsu...I want to hold you...'_

Forcing himself to stay rooted to the spot as his vassal went about his other business, Fuji tried to divert his attention elsewhere. He focused on the horses. He focused on the person tending the horses. He focused on the young boy who fetched a pail of water from the nearby stream. He focused on the bird that flew down and landed in the puddle that spilled from the pail. He focused on the grasshopper that just hopped out of the bushes.

He focused on Tezuka.

Realizing his attempts were utterly futile and only ran him around in circles – which now contributed to a creeping headache – Fuji settled for simply closing his eyes where he stood, enjoying the fresh smell of the old forest around him. In...out...in...out...

He must have looked strange to any observer. But then again, as he was currently the 'Emperor', he supposed no one would be glancing his way. And if any did – none would choose to comment.

He was sorely tempted to lean against the carriage and drift off to sleep – the carriage ride was much too uncomfortable for any mental rest. He would just let his eyes relax then, his mind wander for a moment...

And there was panic.

He hadn't even registered that someone had called his name.

_His _name.

A sudden cry of 'Syuusuke!' muffled in around other yells was followed immediately by a sudden force sending him sprawling onto the ground. The second his vision cleared from the impact, he would see fierce hazel eyes piercing his shocked cyan ones. Then as quickly as that those eyes burned into his mind, they left. The next thing he knew, he was being pulled up rather roughly and hurriedly and was guided towards the carriage.

"Are you alright?" His protector asked him as they reached the vessel. Fuji nodded slowly, mind still numb at the quick procession of events. The former silently let out a breath of relief. The younger man could see the worry dancing frantically in the other's eyes before slowly calming down. "Stay here. We will find the perpetrator." And with one last squeeze of assurance, Tezuka turned away. "Himura! Fuma! See to it Tennou-sama remains safe."

The samurai then unsheathed his katana, and left in search of the assassin.

Ten minutes later, they captured him. Or rather, they captured the body. Upon being trapped by the enemy, the assassin had immediately bit on poison and died. They searched his body for any clue of identity, but of course found none. Yet who the contractor was was not difficult to deduce. At this point, it was not a matter of knowing who was after the Emperor's life, but simply preserving it.

Tezuka watched detached as some of the men burned the body. The act wasn't a sign of respect, but one of simple practicality. His nose wrinkled in discomfort as the vile odor of burning flesh drifted his way. Three more days. If they could make it through the three days, the difficult part of their journey would be over.

The young lord's eyes flickered discreetly to the edge of the forest where the carriage was waiting. Three more days. He wouldn't let anything happen to Fuji.

* * *

_~Kyoto, Imperial Palace~_

He could not concentrate.

The calligraphy brush sat idly in his lax grip, ink dripping onto the parchment and staining it with blotches of pitch black. His entire being was in a fervor of turmoil and unease. Nervous tension strung him from head to toe, ever since morning. He had canceled all his activities for the day, not feeling up to anything.

Haiku. Haiku was supposed to take his mind off of things, channel his nervous energy onto the paper, into the words, take away the tension and unravel the knots. Yet he still could not find a way to prevent his thoughts from wandering to the young heir of the Fuji family.

It had been two entire weeks already. Today was the second day of the third.

Knowing that the journey to Edo would be arduous and difficult, Shiraishi tried very hard to remain patient. Assuming the journey took nine days, give or take another...the messenger should have ridden through the gates with announcement of their arrival two days ago. A messenger required only half the time of a caravan, he argued to himself. He would be lenient however, and tell himself that this was normal. After another two day of no news, though, he became exceedingly impatient.

The sovereign frustratingly clenched his brush, then abruptly and carelessly dropped it on the paper, too distracted to continue – not that he had anything accomplished in the first place. He let out an exasperated, audible sigh and leaned back on his arms, letting his head loll backwards to ease the crook in his neck.

It was in this position that the messenger would later find the emperor in.

"Kakumei-dono."

It would take him a moment to realize that this was his given name when his double was playing Emperor elsewhere. Pushing himself back up and glaring at the newcomer, Shiraishi had to take yet another moment for it to dawn on him that this was his messenger. Finding his voice and desperately attempting to maintain an even, steady voice, Shiraishi was quite surprised to find it sounding rather whole. "Your message?" He quietly inquired.

"Yes. The emperor has safely arrived in Edo. There was a minor complication on the road, however it was quickly and efficiently taken care of, and no one was hurt in the process." The messenger, probably no older than nineteen, dutifully awaited any further orders.

Shiraishi didn't bother hiding his sigh of relief, nodding slowly. "Thank you. That is all."

The messenger bowed and left.

And for the first time in two weeks, Shiraishi could breathe.

_'Tezuka...so you are taking care of him after all...'_

_

* * *

_

_~One month later~_

"Happy Birthday." Fuji whispered tenderly and tilted his head to press a delicate kiss on Tezuka's lips.

"...Syuusuke..." The latter breathed. His hands had paused in the middle of tightening the sash of his nightwear when the other had suddenly appeared in front of him.

Gently and smoothly, the kagemusha's cool fingers pried Tezuka's hands away from his sash and slowly wound up his back, pressing him close to the honey-blonde. The samurai froze as he could feel Fuji rest his head on his chest, feel the other listening to the increasing rhythm of his heartbeats.

Steadily, he relaxed, allowing his arms to envelope the smaller man.

There they would stand for just a few moments, unwatched, undisturbed.

The taller man had become so ensconced in Fuji's entire being that when the other suddenly pulled away, Tezuka shivered lightly at the unprecedented loss. A small smile remained on his charge's lips.

"Maa...Tezuka-san. You didn't think I forgot about your birthday, did you?" Fuji teased playfully.

Tezuka was about to indicate a 'no' when the blue-eyed noble continued. "I'm sorry." He apologized sincerely. "I know you don't like everyone making a big fuss about your birthday, so I tried to catch you alone, which obviously hasn't happened till now. Mou...you're so popular and always surrounded by people that I never got a chance to have you to myself!" The honey-blonde mock pouted, and as if to emphasize his possession over Tezuka, he grabbed the taller man's arm and tugged it close.

Tezuka's lips twitched at the other's playful teasing. His friend never failed to crack his stolid countenance.

Letting the silliness ebb away, Fuji released the samurai's limb and reached up to Tezuka to brush back a strand of hair. His fingers lingered awhile behind the other's ear, then smoothly traveled down down to his firm jawline. "I love you..." He whispered, voice full of tenderness and pure sincerity.

Tezuka's hazel eyes softened at the confession, linking with Fuji's own enchanting blue. "You shouldn't." He swallowed, barely able to bring himself to say so. His throat ran dry and his chest gave a painful pulsing throb at the sight of hurt and betrayal crossing the kagemusha's facials. He desperately wished to reach out and embrace the smaller man, acquiesce the latter's desires to be taken away, to be loved. Yet Tezuka Kunimitsu was a man of reality, of duty. To escape to such a fantastical realm was...

"Fly with me, Mitsu."

The sudden request transfixed the samurai. His questioning gaze fell on Fuji's eyes as he withheld a gasp, the result being the slight part of his lips. Never had he seen the other contain such an expression, such a look of dread and eagerness, of agony and exhilaration, of uncertain fear and unwavering love.

"Just for now." The Fuji heir implored with a wistful smile, his eyes slightly crazed in hazy need. "Just for these months in Edo...there is nothing asked of us here, except to _be_ here...We have no duties, no demands! The emperor has all but given us leave to do whatever we wish...so please, Kunimitsu..." Fuji weakly trailed off, shuddering. His lips trembling in anticipation, his breaths came in slow and unsteady while his soul pleaded through his eyes.

Tezuka could feel his resolve washing away from underneath him, like the ephemeral sands would on a beach. He could hear his every desire pulsating within him in unison with Fuji's every need. He could see the despair and ecstasy burning in the other, and it engendered him to want to forget everything, take up the kagemusha's dangerous but enticing offer, and fly away...not giving another thought to the demands of society.

Yes, Tezuka Kunimitsu was a man of reality, of duty, and of honor, and never in his life would he have condoned such actions...

But Tezuka Kunimitsu was also a human.

"_...so please, Kunimitsu..." Fuji begged._

"...love me."

And Tezuka did.

* * *

He was different.

The servant could tell, despite the short time he's known his lord.

Kawamura had been scared in the beginning. Upon his return from visiting his sister, he had received word to accompany Fuji-sama to Edo as the Emperor's aide. Rather confused at first, he finally realized the hidden message in the order. While his job was to stay by the emperor's side, Fuji's duty was to be the Emperor. Scenarios of what-ifs and what-mights flooded his mind as he struggled to keep a zipped lip on his worries and concerns.

He was not as naïve to think that a journey somewhere would be easier than thwarting an assassination attempt. If anything, it would be much more dangerous and perilous. The journey itself _was_, in a sense, a distraction, a decoy that would pull the fire of the enemy away from the real emperor and onto Fuji.

So Kawamura was left in a state of uneasy paranoia throughout the trip, the feeling peaking the moment the assassin struck. Yet the remainder of the trip saw no action whatsoever, allowing the young man to heave a sigh when they finally reached Edo castle.

And this lack of excitement followed for the next few weeks, during which everything was in a peaceful ennui.

Day in and day out, he would perform his menial tasks of attending to 'the Emperor'. On the occasions there were no observers, he and Fuji would converse over the matters of life, laughing heartily and smiling gaily at this thing or that, jesting over issues of the rumor mill and mulling over verses of haiku. Yet even as the noble gossiped of scandals, talked of family and spoke of happiness...Kawamura could tell the other wasn't at all what he pretended to be.

Although the other was a master at deception, manipulated events with cunning guile, and donned a mask of such flawlessness, he could not keep the occasional look of pain and exhaustion from marring his surreal features.

Kawamura wanted to help. He desperately wished to offer a shoulder, offer an ear, hold him, heal him or just provide any sort of comfort to Fuji so the other wouldn't look so blissfully tortured every day.

Yet he couldn't.

Because he wasn't Tezuka.

He wasn't an overly perceptive or keen person by nature, just the sort of man who kept a healthy amount of check on his environment and surroundings. At first, Kawamura wasn't very concerned with his liege's relation with the young samurai lord of the Tezuka clan, just the odd noble that happened to be his master. He had assumed the two were well-acquainted since far into the reaches of their childhood and dismissed it at that. It was only after weeks of intrigued observance that Kawamura came to realize his error and that something deeper than friendship kept the two together.

Although Tezuka was a private maverick whose aloofness could have easily been mistaken for anti-social and near-offensive, his demeanor whenever he was around Fuji would shift slightly, almost imperceptibly.

And Fuji, it seemed, reciprocated that.

For Tezuka, it seemed as though the man became younger, and more human. Whenever he was with Fuji, the rigid air of authority gradually gave way to a sense of companionable parity. The cold detachment would fade away with a simple smile from the fair-haired noble.

His entire being relaxed, as though someone had released him from an invisible string holding him uptight. His features were less harsh, as though someone had soothed away the sharpness. He was more approachable, as though someone had kept a comforting hand on his shoulder. And his eyes lost their steel-like frigidity and melted into cool brown, as though someone had warmed him and enveloped him with their love.

And that someone, Kawamura gradually came to realize, was Fuji.

Which brought him to the subject of the other half of the issue.

While it was easier to see what had changed with Tezuka, as imperceptible as those changes may be, it was near impossible for Kawamura to point out what had changed with Fuji. It was actually his observation of his liege, his piqued interest and curiosity at attempting to unravel the enigma that was Fuji, that slowly unveiled the true relationship between Fuji and Tezuka.

Sure, at first he wasn't at all concerned about the nature of their relationship, but it wasn't long before Kawamura realized that, in order to understand Fuji, one would have to make sense of Tezuka, and the relationship they shared. Because the keen-eyed kagemusha could not be understood in isolation. It was as though the other were a string instrument, with such immense potential to communicate through beautiful and powerful tunes, holding the ability to awe an audience with a simple graceful stroke – a stroke that would not be accomplished without a partnering bow. And Tezuka was that bow, strong and tense, but the only one capable of drawing out the melodious sounds and bringing the instrument to its potential.

Alone and separate, neither would seem significant. They are silent, still, trivial to the mundane occurrences of an ever-moving world.

Yet together, only when together, do they soar.

"_I feel as though I can climb to any heights with you..."_

And what a beautiful and haunting melody it was.

A painful throb. Once again, he hadn't meant to eavesdrop. In fact, he had done his very best to avoid Fuji's room, knowing that it had been Tezuka-dono's birthday, and that the former would wish for privacy with the samurai.

How was he to know the samurai's room was in a completely different hallway even though he was the Emperor's guard? Kawamura hadn't wanted to intrude, encroach upon their privacy and be privy to such an intimate moment, but the voice of his lord made him stop cold in the chilly night air.

And oh, he heard it all. The confessions, the pleas, the intimacy...

...and it hurt him more than anything.

Kawamura could feel his own heart breaking as the events in the room progressed and he quietly moved away. He was torn. Torn between joy that his kind-hearted lord and friend had finally found the love he had been longing after for years...and sorrow that the kagemusha had chosen the path of death for the sake of that love.

Because he knew that while only Tezuka could relieve the beautiful Fuji heir of his pain and grief, it would be Tezuka that would eventually kill him. It was simply the cruelty of the society they were in. Never mind the fact that such a love would be condemned by all. It wouldn't be long before the usurping forces overran the region and every last samurai swearing allegiance to the Emperor called to battle. If Tezuka were to perish...Fuji would undoubtedly follow.

And as the heavens reflected his sentiment and began to mourn, the boy of eighteen could do nothing to stop the choking sob from coming.

* * *

Because he was the Emperor's kagemusha, the Emperor's shadow, the Emperor's sacrifice. Because Tezuka was his samurai, his light, his protector. And because they loved...

...he knew there would never be a happy ending.

Yet he would rather spend one moment of bliss and incomparable joy with the one person he loved more than all of the world...than to live out his entire life wandering the forest of what-ifs and regrets alone.

For it could no longer be denied: he could not live without Tezuka, nor Tezuka him.

They were never lovers before – no amount of furtive glances, stolen touches, heated moments and intimate bonding could have attested to that, not if neither were brave enough to accept it and willing to sacrifice enough to commit to it.

But they were now.

And as the gates of his fate slowly sealed and the light of his future gradually diminished...

...Fuji never felt happier.

A/N: ….um...this is strange. I could have sworn telling myself to write a happy chapter. For some reason it ended up like this. I wonder if this story is turning too angsty angst?

Oh well, I guess that means I have to include happy stuff in the next one then.

Ah I hope this isn't confusing people too much. I really tried to get the whole "Lord of the Rings – Arwen and Aragorn" scenario out of my head, because I know Fuji can't be like Arwen and 'choose to die' in the sense that he gives up his (non-existent) immortality...

Forgive me for trying to fit too much into too little!

I don't know when the next chapter will be out. Blame everything – SATs, Math SATs, Physics SATs, Literature SATs, AP exams, tests, projects...Spring Break is supposed to be a break. Yet for some reason its turning out oddly similar to boot camp...


End file.
